The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, making love brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be great also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to have sex with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective sensations of attraction, excitement, love, wellness, and closeness .

However when problems occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cities, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay males want to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

However, North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control find this in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those i was reading this exciting stimulates!

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