The Intimacy Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with anchor somebody we are attracted to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective feelings of attraction, excitement, closeness, wellness, and love .

However when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that many of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urban locations, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, see here now lots of gay males want to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based why not try this out upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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